Encounters With Weakémon: Outtakes!
by Nekonezume
Summary: These are terrible :p if you've ever read Encounters With Weakémon, you should read this as well. However, the jokes are sometimes offensive, and yada yada yada. You've been warned, or something!


ENCOUNTERS WITH WEAKéMON OUTTAKES!  
  
OK, this will be even worse than the original EWW (Encounters With Weakémon) fic... the corny  
outtakes! I thought it would be pretty funny. It'll probably turn out pretty friggin' dumb, but  
anyway... I highly suggest you read the EWW fanfic in order to make any sense at all out of   
this. Enjoy!... or something. Oh yeah. I don't own Pokémon, Nintendo does. I WISH I DID! Then  
James would be mine... huahaha... anyway, I do however own Weakémon. I made it up. And it's   
absolutely NOT making fun of Pokémon! I thought it would be a funny idea for a fic! So don't   
e-mail me dissing the living crap out of me, because I LOVE Pokémon (especially James, huhu) and  
any dis is unintentional. Same with copyright junk. I don't mean any infringement either. I   
was majourly bored. NOW THE REAL FUN BEGINS! Or something. The crappy "fic" is started! Oh   
yeah. This was written by Nekonezume/Katie C./Malon, yada yada. Oh, and I'm the director in   
this. Go me.  
  
ENCOUNTERS WITH WEAKéMON OUTTAKES!  
  
From part 1  
  
Director: *with the movie board thingie in hand* Scene 1, take 1. ACTION!  
Jesse: *looks up from fashion magazine*  
James: Well Jesse? How... line?  
Jesse: *rolls eyes*  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 2. ACTION!  
Jesse: *looks up from fashion magazine*  
James: Well Jesse? What do you think? Should I go with the blue rose or the white rose?  
Jesse: *falls off chair, laughing* S-sorry sorry! It's hard to keep a straight face in this   
scene... gimme a minute... *snort*  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 85. ACTION!  
Jesse: *looks up from fashion magazine*  
James: Well Jesse? What do you think? Should I go with the blue rose or the white rose?  
Jesse: Damn it, James! Do you think I really CARE which rose you hold for five damned seconds!?   
I don't really give a shit!  
James: Fine... I won't use any roses...  
Jesse: Good! It makes you look like a chick!  
James: *frowns* that wasn't in the script.  
Jesse: *laughing* I KNOW!  
  
Director: *exhausted* Scene 1, Take 382. Action.  
Jesse: *looks up from fashion magazine*  
James: Well Jesse? What do you think? Should I go with the blue rose or the white rose?  
Jesse: Damn it, James! Do you think I really CARE which rose you hold for five damned seconds!?   
I don't really give a shit!  
James: Fine... I won't use any roses...  
Jesse: Good! It makes you look gay!  
James: So finally we hear the truth! Well I don't really give a... *pause* I don't really give  
a...!  
Meowth: *plays with a nearby butterfly*  
Jesse: SHIT Meowth!  
Meowth: Oh, was it my line?  
  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 1. ACTION!  
Billine: Shit... where in the name of all great...  
Selene: *hits hand against forehead* Dammit, Billine!  
Jed: You're not supposed to talk like you do at home!  
Director: Memorize your friggin' lines!  
Billine: Gomen...  
Luke: *with English accent* Pardon me, miss Billine, but do not speak in Japanese, we do not   
understand it.  
Billine: Gomen.  
Jed: *walks off stage* I can't work with this bitch!  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 15. ACTION!  
Billine: Shit... where are we?  
Selene: Gee, I don't know Billine, try up your ASS.  
Jed and Luke: SELENE!  
Selene: *laughing* Sorry! I always wanted to say that!  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 32. ACTION!  
Billine: Shit... where are we? *hears rustling* Wait! Shh!  
Jed: Something wrong, Billine?  
Billine: SHIT! THERE'S SOMEONE FOLLOWING US!  
Scruffat: *walks out, explodes*  
Billine: ...I think they used an outdated robot...  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 167. ACTION!  
Billine: Shit... where are we? *rustling* Wait! Shh!  
Jed: Something wrong, Billine?  
Billine: SHIT! THERE'S SOMEONE FOLLOWING US!  
Scruffat: *walks out*  
Jed: Huh? What the hell is that? *points PokéDex at Scruffat*  
PokéDex: *DING!* It's a Weakémon, you jackass.  
Selene: *falls over laughing*  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 1. ACTION!  
James: Can you please heal my Magifart?  
Nurse Joy: *laughing* Y-your WHAT!?  
James: *also laughing* Sorry, that just popped out...  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 58. ACTION!  
James: Can you please heal my Magikarp?  
Nurse Joy: Magikarp? Heh heh... *takes PokéBall, drops it* Whooops... I, uh, meant to do that!  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 420. ACTION!  
James: Can you please heal my... *bursts into laughter*  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 1. ACTION!  
Cloaked Figure: Master, the plans?  
Guy: Yes... we will fool these stupid humans with the Weakémons's weak appearances - the   
robots, then continue on with the true Weakémon. We will then DESTROY the world! HUAHAHAHAHA!  
Cloaked Figure: But that sounds dangerous.  
Guy: What the hell!?  
Cloaked Figure: Well it does...  
  
Director: Scene 11, Take 1. ACTION!  
Catnip: Whooaaa! Holy shit! Somebody bring me a boytoy!  
Selene: *blinks* A WHAT?  
Catnip: A cat toy... *blush*  
  
Director: Scene 11, Take 37. ACTION!  
Catnip: Whooooaaa! Holy shit! Somebody bring me a cat toy!  
Selene: What the hell is he eating?  
Bighead: *laughs* He's always high off catnip, he brings it everywhere.  
Selene: ...so THAT explains why he's always staggering while he walks...  
Catnip: *snuggles up to Selene* How bout you an me... *slips and falls flat on his back beside  
Bighead* Shit! *looks behind him* All right, who thought it would be funny to stick a banana  
peel under my ass?  
Billine: *laughing* Heh heh... sorry...  
  
From part 2  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 1. ACTION!  
Billine: *buries head into James's chest*  
James: CUT CUT!  
Director: What is it now!?  
James: I can NOT act when this chick is biting my nipple!  
Billine: *blushing* I was not...  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 54. ACTION!  
Billine: *buries head into James's chest*  
Luke: *in English accent* Hey, FatDragon!  
Selene: Crap, Luke, mask your accent!  
Luke: Whoopsy...  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 179. ACTION!  
Billine: *buries head into James's chest*  
Luke: Hey, FatDragon! *picks up rock* Are you real?  
FatDragon: *roars*  
Jed: *takes out PokéDex*  
PokéDex: *DING!* Tackle; FatDragon's only attack.  
Luke: *smirk* I thought so. *throws rock*  
FatDragon: *stays upright*  
Jed: aw, shit!  
Billine: *runs over and kicks FatDragon, making it all fall apart*  
Jed: Looks like we'll have to wait awhile before we try at this scene again, BILLINE.  
Billine: Ah, gomen.  
Jed: GOD DAMMIT! Where's my dressing room again? *walks offstage*  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 1. ACTION!  
*tent is shaking*  
Selene: Oh, yes, Luke! YES!  
Luke: CUT!  
Selene: Dammit!  
Director: What IS it, Luke?   
Luke: I'm sorry to bother you, but do we HAVE to do this WITHOUT clothes?  
Director: This is supposed to be a REALISTIC fanfic, people! I want FEELING!  
Luke: But I don't understand how...  
Selene: Oh, shut up and kiss me!  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 1. ACTION!  
Guy: Well, Cloaked Figure, have all the Pokémon been-  
Cloaked Figure: WEAKéMON DAMMIT!  
Guy: Weakémon...  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 24. ACTION!  
Guy: Well, Cloaked... *jumps up* WHO THE FUCK PUT A TACK ON MY CHAIR?  
Cloaked Figure: *chuckle chuckle*  
  
Director: Scene 9, Take 1. ACTION!  
Selene: I've noticed that we've been finding more Weakémon than Pokémon around here, I wonder  
why that is.  
Persian: *walks out of woods*  
Luke: Look, a Persian! Hi Persian!  
Selene: *slaps hand on forehead* dammit Luke!  
Billine: You're SUPPOSED to be scared of them!  
Luke: Right-o...  
  
Director: Scene 10, Take 1. ACTION!  
Guy: Giovanni is a fool! Cloaked Figure, I can't believe you used to work for him!  
Cloaked Figure F: Me either! ACHOOOOOOOO!  
Pikachu: *walks in from nowhere* Pikachu?  
Cloaked Figure F: I sneezed, you little turd.  
Pikachu: *thundershocks Cloaked Figure F* PIKA!  
  
Director: Scene 10, Take 86. ACTION!   
Guy: Giovanni is a fool! Cloaked Figure, I can't believe you used to work for him!  
Cloaked Figure F: Me either! Team Rocket was stupid!  
Guy: Aaah, Cloaked Figure F, always a pleasure. *kisses Cloaked Figure F's hand, then up her   
arm, and up her neck... and...*  
Cloaked Figure F: Ew, hentai!  
  
Director: Scene 10, Take 198. ACTION!  
Guy: Giovanni is a fool! Cloaked Figure, I can't believe you used to work for him!  
Cloaked Figure F: Me either! Team Rocket was stupid!  
Guy: Aaah, Cloaked Figure F, always a pleasure. *kisses Cloaked Figure F's hand* Now where  
was I? Ahhh yes. *picks up vodka bottle, drinks* Now that Giovanni's   
bodyguard, that hideous Persian is practically dead from blood loss, we can go after the main  
target, Giovanni. HUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!!  
Cloaked Figure, Cloaked Figure F: HUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!!  
Guy: How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off!? That's MY laugh!  
Director: CUT! That was PERFECT! Now one more time... with FEELING.  
Cloaked Figure: With feeling!? IF I GO UP THERE AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKIN' NOSE WILL THAT  
GIVE YOU FEELING!?  
Cloaked Figure F: DAMN! I need a break! *walks offstage*  
  
Director: Scene 12, Take 1. ACTION!  
*Selene's head on Luke's shoulder, Billine's head on Jed's shoulder, and James' head on   
Giovanni's shoulder*  
Selene: *whispers to Luke* I wonder how gay James and Giovanni feel right now.  
James: I heard that!  
  
Director: Scene 12, Take 67. ACTION!   
*Selene's head on Luke's shoulder, Billine's head on Jed's shoulder, and James' head on   
Giovanni's shoulder* *all wake up*  
Director: Damn, you guys! Did you hear the freakin' bell!? I think not!  
  
From part 3  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 1. ACTION!  
Wolf-type Weakémon: *walks in*  
Catnip: Shit! You guys can take care of this one! *hides behind Luke*  
Scruffat: *rolls eyes* Pussy.  
Catnip: Ratass!  
James: *separates the two* Now, maybe we should leave this overgrown dog to the humans...  
Jed: Fu- *sputters* Whoops... got a hair in my mouth...  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 38. ACTION!  
Wolf-type Weakémon: *walks in*  
Catnip: Shit! You guys can take care of this one! *hides behind Luke*  
Scruffat: *rolls eyes* Pussy.  
Catnip: Ratass!  
James: *separates the two* Now, maybe we should leave this overgrown dog to the humans...  
Jed: Fuck no! Are you crazy!? We'll die, DIE! Go, Rhydon! *throws PokéBall*  
Wolf Weakémon: *grins malevolantly* Rhydon, huh? Piece of cake. *lunges at Rhydon*  
Rhydon: *steps out of the way, sending the wolf flying*  
All: *start to laugh*  
Jed: He'll be feeling that in the morning...  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 1. ACTION!  
Cassidy and Butch: *sitting on rock, smoking cigarettes*  
Luke: Wait a minute... how the FUCK did they escape!?  
Butch: *smiles* Master Guy In The Big Chair bailed us, while we were still high... But I must   
tell you, damn, that ain't the last stuff I'll smoke 'round you Cass, rowr!  
Persian: ROWRRR! *scratches Butch*  
Giovanni: Uhm, Persian, he wasn't talking to you...  
Butch: ...ow...  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 74. ACTION!  
Cassidy and Butch: *sitting on rock, smoking cigarettes*  
Luke: Wait a minute... how the FUCK did they escape!?  
Butch: *smiles* Master Guy In The Big Chair bailed us, while we were still high... But I must   
tell you, damn, that ain't the last stuff I'll smoke 'round you Cass, rowr!  
James: *rolls eyes* Butch, time for you and me to fight. And I don't mean with Pokémon. *makes  
a fist*  
Butch: *laughs hysterically* Y-YOU!? Mr. I-Like-To-Wear-Tutus-While-Jesse-Dresses-Like-A-Guy?   
Mr. Roses-Are-My-Specialty? Mr. My-Nuts-Are-The-Size-Of-Marbles?  
James: *narrows eyes* What the FUCK did you just say!? *shoots energy beam at Cassidy and   
Butch, who faint* *falls down hole* Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...  
All: *look down hole*  
Selene: James! James! JAMES! CAN YOU HEAR ME! *leans in, falls down hole* wahhh!   
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 1. ACTION!  
James: *wakes up, pushes Catnip off*  
Catnip: Whoooa... shit my neck hurts...  
James: *notices he landed on dog crap* Ewww! *pause* Maybe there's an underground river   
nearby. Catnip?   
Catnip: I heard yeh. Let's go see if we can something. I think I hear some water running...  
*walk down tunnel... see...*  
Jed: *peeing* Sorry guys... guess that water you heard was me... heh heh heh...  
Director: JED! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE!? THIS ISN'T YOUR SCENE!  
Jed: I had to take a leak...  
Director: NOT ON THE SET! Somebody get me a mop.  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 567. ACTION!   
James: *wakes up, pushes Catnip off*  
Catnip: Whoooa... shit my neck hurts...  
James: *notices he landed on dog crap* Ewww! *pause* Maybe there's an underground river   
nearby. Catnip?   
Catnip: I heard yeh. Let's go see if we can something. I think I hear some water running...  
*they walk down the tunnel, and sure enough there's water. They wash up.*  
James: *shrugs* Well at least I don't smell like... WHOA-OA-OAAAAA! *slips and falls forward  
into... even more dog shit* AAHHH FUCK!  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 23. ACTION!  
Luke: Ugh... Selene... you're not getting any lighter. So, bye bye! *lets go of her and sends  
her falling downward.  
Selene: AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhh... fuuuuuuccckkkkk yoooooooouuu Luuuuuuuuuuke!  
Director: *sighs* Luke, you moron.  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 3. ACTION!  
James and Catnip: *turn around, see a dragon, run for their fucking lives* *then, run into a   
tent. Open it up... and...*  
Selene: HEY! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE FUCKING HERE!?  
Catnip: *slaps forehead* It's not your line!  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 48. ACTION!   
James and Catnip: *turn around, see a dragon, run for their fucking lives* *then, run into a   
tent. A VIBRATING tent. They open it up and see Luke and Selene, banging to their heart's   
content*  
Catnip: Hey, can I join in?  
Selene and Luke: *scream bloody murder*  
James: Hurry! Cover yourselves up with a towel or something, coz the dragon's gaining on us!  
Selene and Luke: *each grab a sleeping bag and wrap it around themselves, then run like hell*  
James and Catnip: WAIT FOR US! *run after the two*  
Selene: *sleeping bag falls off, uhm, exposing herself*  
James and Catnip: *stop and stare*  
James: Dude! *a noticeable lump forms in his pants*  
Director: Dammit, no one needs to see that.  
  
Director: Scene 9, Take 1. ACTION!  
Selene and Luke: *run in and collapse beside another tent*  
Luke: *leans over and shakes the tent*  
Giovanni: *from inside* What the fuck! *tries to open the tent, but can't* Ah, dammit! The  
zipper's stuck!  
Director: CUT!  
  
Director: Scene 9, Take 2. ACTION!  
Selene and Luke: *run in and collapse beside another tent*  
Luke: *leans over and shakes the tent*  
Giovanni: *from inside* What the fuck! *opens the tent* Hey, sweet! It worked!  
Director: Oh, fuck off!  
  
Director: Scene 9, Take 184. ACTION!  
Selene and Luke: *run in and collapse beside another tent*  
Luke: *leans over and shakes the tent*  
Giovanni: *from inside* What the fuck! *opens the tent*  
Luke: James... huff puff... and Catnip... huff puff... big dragon... huff... trouble... that   
way... *points a finger in the direction he and Selene just came from* Bring... help... *faints*  
Giovanni: *grabs a pan and a spoon from midair and starts beating the pan with the spoon,  
creating a terrible racket* WAKE UP EVERYONE! WE'VE GOT AN EMERGENCY HERE!  
Everyone else: *walks out in their PJs*  
Billine: I was fast a-freaking-sleep! And having a damn good dream, too!... Whoops, are we   
rolling?  
  
from part 4  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 1. ACTION!  
All Weakémon but Catnip/Leono: *run in*  
Leono: TetherBall! GellatinMass! BigRat! Hugechu! I'm... so glad your here... *falls backwards  
in a faint*  
TetherBall: We can beat 'im. He's already weak as hell.  
Hugechu: *runs over and Hyper Fangs the dragon*  
Dragon: *falls over in pain, and hits its head on the floor* Mommy, cam I ride the pony?   
*faints*  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 73. ACTION!  
All Weakémon but Catnip/Leono: *run in*  
Leono: TetherBall! GellatinMass! BigRat! Hugechu! I'm... so glad your here... *falls backwards  
in a faint*  
TetherBall: We can beat 'im. He's already weak as hell.  
Hugechu: *runs over and Hyper Fangs the dragon*  
Dragon: *falls over in pain*  
Hugechu: 'Chu' on a bit of that, assmunch! *strikes a cool pose, then loses his balance and   
falls on top of the dragon* Ooof!  
Dragon: Do you mind getting off me? You're no Celine Dion!  
Hugechu: Well you're no Kathie Lee Gifford yourself!  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 156. ACTION!  
All Weakémon but Catnip/Leono: *run in*  
Leono: TetherBall! GellatinMass! BigRat! Hugechu! I'm... so glad your here... *falls backwards  
in a faint*  
TetherBall: We can beat 'im. He's already weak as hell.  
Hugechu: *runs over and Hyper Fangs the dragon*  
Dragon: *falls over in pain*  
Hugechu: 'Chu' on a bit of that, assmunch! *strikes a cool pose*  
Selene and Luke: *fall asleep... on top of one another*  
Giovanni: Damn, those two are horny.  
Jesse: I wouldn't talk, Mr. Willow! *nudges Giovanni in the gut*  
Giovanni: *blushes* Uh... well you and James like to screw too, so I wouldn't talk!  
Jesse: Shut your hole!  
Giovanni: You shut yours bitch!  
Jesse and Giovanni: *stare at eachother for a moment, then start making out.*  
James: HEY! She's MY slut!  
Jesse: Shut the hell up. *continues making out with Giovanni* Ohhhh...  
Giovanni: *starts to take of Jesse's clothes*  
Jed: *runs off the stage screaming* OH LORD LORD LOOOOOOORD!  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 43. ACTION!  
GellatinMass: Lovely Kiss! *kisses the dragon*  
Dragon: *falls fast asleep with a bubble coming out of his nose*  
GellatinMass: HAH! LOOOOSER!  
BigRat: *steps forward* TAIL WHIP!  
TetherBall: Whoa! Hang on there dude! You expect to defeat this ho with a TAIL WHIP!? Nuh-uh.   
Use your motherfuckin' SECRET WEAPON!  
BigRat: B-but... if I use my SECRET WEAPON, I'll go back to Scruffat!  
TetherBall: If you DON'T, we'll all be fucked. What's it gonna be?  
BigRat: *starts to sweat, then looks around* FUCK IT! SECRET WEAPON! *a big wave of dark  
green energy envelops the area, and the power in the studio flickers out*  
Jed: *sings* Who turned the lights out?  
Billine: WHO! WHO WHO WHO!  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 1. ACTION!   
A scratchy voice: You think you're done? *drops the lit cigarette and steps on it* Think again.  
*the person steps out of the bushes, revealing it's Butch. Cassidy follows close behind*  
Jesse and James: *stop making out*  
James: Shit! Why do you keep following us!? GO AWAY YOU PRICKS!!!  
Jesse: Oooh James... you're so manly! *giggles, then looks at Cassidy* Oh... it's... YOU...  
*narrows eyes* What do YOU want?  
Cassidy: All I wanted was a Pepsi! Just one Pepsi!  
Jesse: *with a confused look on face* The hell?  
Cassidy: *laughing* *points at Butch* He dared me to!  
  
Director: Scene 3, Take 56. ACTION!   
A scratchy voice: You think you're done? *drops the lit cigarette and steps on it* Think again.  
*the person steps out of the bushes, revealing it's Butch. Cassidy follows close behind*  
Jesse and James: *stop making out*  
James: Shit! Why do you keep following us!? GO AWAY YOU PRICKS!!!  
Jesse: Oooh James... you're so manly! *giggles, then looks at Cassidy* Oh... it's... YOU...  
*narrows eyes* What do YOU want?  
Cassidy: *smirks* To beat YOU assholes. C'mon, let's battle.  
Jesse: *shakes her head* Nuh-uh. No way. We'd kick your ass too badly.  
Cassidy: *laughs* What the fuck! WHATEVER!  
Lingo: *rolls over to Jesse and uses Explosion, sending her clear through the roof of the cave*  
Jesse: Yooooooouuu duuuuummbbbbfuuuuuuuck! *sails off*  
Lingo: Oops...  
Cassidy and Butch: *whipe their foreheads and sigh with relief*  
Butch: At least we didn't get hurt this time.  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 1. ACTION!  
Luke: *wakes up* Sweeee... *loses his balance, and falls over. His sleeping bag falls off so he  
is... exposed*  
Billine: *staring* Hey, not bad...  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 37. ACTION!  
Luke: *wakes up* Sweet! You guys know what this means?  
Everyone: *looks at eachother, then shakes their heads*  
Luke: Dammit! Come on! You guys gotta know!  
Selene: *wakes up*  
Everyone: *shakes their heads again*  
Luke: ...Man you are really all a bunch of fudgepackers. This means we gotta have a good  
victory screw! A big orgy!  
Everyone: Ahhhh! *nods*  
James: Jesse, I do believe it's been a month since we last had sex.  
Jesse: *nods* TOO SCHLONG.  
James: *blinks* I'm sorry, what was that?  
Jesse: We were talking about sex, I couldn't help it!  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 99. ACTION!  
Luke: *wakes up* Sweet! You guys know what this means?  
Everyone: *looks at eachother, then shakes their heads*  
Luke: Dammit! Come on! You guys gotta know!  
Selene: *wakes up*  
Everyone: *shakes their heads again*  
Luke: ...Man you are really all a bunch of fudgepackers. This means we gotta have a good  
victory screw! A big orgy!  
Everyone: Ahhhh! *nods*  
James: Jesse, I do believe it's been a month since we last had sex.  
Jesse: *nods* TOO LONG.  
Billine: *giggles* Well, Jeddie, looks like you'll be getting a taste of me tonight. *traces  
circles on Jed's chest*  
Jed: *squeaks* Damn! I can't wait!  
Director: CUT! Jed, what the fuck is wrong with you!?  
Jed: *grins nervously* I, uhm, have to go to my dressing room for a sec... heh heh...  
James: *in disgusted tone* DUUUUUDE, Jed's gonna go whack off!  
Jed: *grins nervously with sweat dripping down his forehead* I am not!  
  
Director: *sighs* I'm getting tired of this shit. Let's have a coffee break for half an hour.  
Jed: Huhuhu... *runs to his dressing room*  
James: Oh, naaaaaasty.  
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER  
  
Director: Okay, shut up! Quiet on the set! Scene 5, Take 1. ACTION!  
Jed: Holy shit, Billine, have you done that before?  
Billine: *shakes head* Nope. Never. You weren't so bad yourself, sexy boy.  
Jed: *is leaning on the tent, then slips and falls* ...ow...  
Director: That was perfect, too, you dickwad!  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 1. ACTION!  
Jed: Hey, I have a question. Okay, James, how the FUCK did you make that big hole in the ground  
and blast the living shit out of Cassidy and Butch?  
Director: CUT! You're supposed to say Assidy and Bitch! Dumbass!  
Jed: Sorry!  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 215. ACTION!  
Jed: Hey, I have a question. Okay, James, how the FUCK did you make that big hole in the ground  
and blast the living shit out of Crapsidy and Bitch?  
Director: YOUR ASSHOLE! IT'S ASSIDY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!?  
  
from part 5  
  
Director: Now let's get this shit over with before I explode. Scene 1, Take 1. ACTION!  
James: ...I really have no idea, it just sort of happened!  
Everyone: *falls over*  
Meowth: Smart, James, real smart. You're an even bigger idiot than I thought!  
Jesse: *through clenched teeth* SHUT UP, Meowth!  
FatDragon hologram: *appears out of thin air* Hey, bitches!... boy, I really gotta take a   
motherfuckin' shit! I'll be right back!  
Everyone: *looks at eachother and shrugs*  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 39. ACTION!  
James: ...I really have no idea, it just sort of happened!  
Everyone: *falls over*  
Meowth: Smart, James, real smart. You're an even bigger idiot than I thought!  
Jesse: *through clenched teeth* SHUT UP, Meowth!  
FatDragon hologram: *appears out of thin air* Hey, bitches! Hey James, you wanna find out what  
the fuck happened with the fuckin' spell back there, huh bitch?  
James: *nods*  
FatDragon hologram: Fuckin' great! I know where you can find out! All you bitches head up that  
fuckin' mountain up there- *points to a big, steep mountain* -and you'll find out why the hell   
that motherfuckin' spell came and what you can do about the motherfuckin' thing, okay bitch?   
Now you hurry up that fuckin' mountain and be on your way, ya fuckin' bitches! *hologram goes  
POOFA!*  
James: *pauses* That was odd.  
Luke: He swears more than my grandpa.  
Director: *twitch twitch* YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING SEISURE!!!  
Luke: *in his normal accent* What went wrong?  
Director: IT'S GRANDMA! GrandMA!!! Not GRANDPA!!!  
  
Director: Scene 1, Take 175. ACTION!  
James: ...I really have no idea, it just sort of happened!  
Everyone: *falls over*  
Meowth: Smart, James, real smart. You're an even bigger idiot than I thought!  
Jesse: *through clenched teeth* SHUT UP, Meowth!  
FatDragon hologram: *appears out of thin air* Hey, bitches! Hey James, you wanna find out what  
the fuck happened with the fuckin' spell back there, huh bitch?  
James: *nods*  
FatDragon hologram: Fuckin' great! I know where you can find out! All you bitches head up that  
fuckin' mountain up there- *points to a big, steep mountain* -and you'll find out why the hell   
that motherfuckin' spell came and what you can do about the motherfuckin' thing, okay bitch?   
Now you hurry up that fuckin' mountain and be on your way, ya fuckin' bitches! *hologram goes  
POOFA!*  
James: *pauses* That was odd.  
Luke: He swears more than my grandma.  
Jed: I guess we'd better listen to that stupid dragon, or who knows what might happen? We might  
be attacked by another Weakémon and James might fall down another hole.  
Selene: Yeah, we'd better hurry.  
*BLACK SCREEN SHOWS THAT SAYS "AND NOW FOR A THOUGHT SEQUENCE"*  
Jed: Damn! I want Billine! Maybe I can coax her over to those bushes...  
Billine: Damn! I want Jed! Maybe I can get him over behind that rock...  
Luke: Did you ever know that you're my hero... you're everything I wish I could be...  
Director: *twitching violently* Y-y-you're supposed to think-sing the Real Slim Shady, Luke...  
Luke: *thinking* sorry.  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 1. ACTION!  
Billine: Hey, are we almost there yet? These pumps are murder on my feet.  
Jed: *looks at her* You know... *runs over* AW HELL! *picks her up*  
Billine: CUT!  
Director: *twitching* What is it this time!?  
Billine: Someone get this guy's hands off my ass!  
Jed: Huhuhu... uhhhh, oops.  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 26. ACTION!  
Billine: Hey, are we almost there yet? These pumps are murder on my feet.  
Jed: *looks at her* You know... *runs over* AW HELL! *picks her up, then drops her flat on her  
ass*  
Billine: You clutz! *rubs her ass*  
Jed: I think you should cut down on the caterer's donuts.  
Billine: *whining* I can't help it, they're so fucking good!  
  
Director: Scene 2, Take 182. ACTION!  
Billine: Hey, are we almost there yet? These pumps are murder on my feet.  
Jed: *looks at her* You know... *runs over* AW HELL! *picks her up*  
Billine: *giggles* Thanks, Nacho-Man!  
Jed: What!?  
Billine: Haw, got ya back, fat ass!  
Director: *groans* NOT while we're rolling, PLEASE!  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 1. ACTION!  
Everyone: *wakes up*  
Selene: *behind a bush, puking her guts out* Oy... that salmon was baaaad...  
Director: CUT! Someone get us a new caterer!  
  
Director: Scene 4, Take 27. ACTION!  
Everyone: *wakes up*  
Selene: *behind a bush, puking her guts out*  
TEN MINUTES LATER  
Selene: *stops heaving*  
Jed: I just thought of a good explanation for what's been going on with Selene lately, and   
Luke, I'm not sure whether you'll like this or not...  
Luke: *looks at Jed, farts*  
Jed: *blinks* God, Luke! Couldn't you wait!  
Selene: That's disgusting! *starts to puke again*  
Director: LUUUUKE! We're not going to do another fuckin take until you USE THE BATHROOM!  
Luke: AAAH! THANK YOU! *runs off*  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 47. ACTION!   
Billine: *throws a bucket of freezing cold water over Luke*  
Luke: *wakes up* AAAH! SHIT! *remembers what Jed said* HOLY FUCK MAN!!! I'M GONNA BE A   
FATHER!!!  
Jed: *nods* Looks like it. Heh, good luck.  
Luke: Thanks, man. Well, heyyy, I'm gonna be a daddy! I don't know if that's good or bad...   
for the baby I mean...  
Everyone: *laughs*  
James: Sounds like bad news for dabby... OH FUCK. CUT.  
  
Director: Scene 5, Take 295. ACTION!   
Billine: *throws a bucket of freezing cold water over Luke*  
Luke: *wakes up* AAAH! SHIT! *remembers what Jed said* HOLY FUCK MAN!!! I'M GONNA BE A   
FATHER!!!  
Jed: *nods* Looks like it. Heh, good luck.  
Luke: Thanks, man. Well, heyyy, I'm gonna be a daddy! I don't know if that's good or bad...   
for the baby I mean...  
Everyone: *laughs*  
James: Sounds like bad news for the baby. I'm sure its first word will be fuck.  
Everyone: *laughs again*  
Luke: Hey! Fuck you!... well I guess you have a point there... *shrugs*  
Giovanni: Well, It looks like somebody forgot to use a... *starts to snort, then bursts into  
laughter*  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 23. ACTION!  
James: *huffing* Almost... there...  
Jesse: Yay! We're here! *promptly faints*  
James: *to Jed* How did I KNOW that was going to happen?  
Jed: Hey man, don't ask me, ask the air.  
James: Dammit.  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 185. ACTION!  
James: *huffing* Almost... there...  
Jesse: Yay! We're here! *promptly faints*  
James: *to Jed* How did I KNOW that was going to happen? *removes jacket, rolls it into a ball,  
and places it under Jesse's head. Then, the jacket slips, and Jesse's head goes THUNK against  
the ground*  
Jed: *to Director* I told you we shouldn't use that slippery fabric.  
Director: Shut the fuck up, Jed.  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 238. ACTION!  
James: *huffing* Almost... there...  
Jesse: Yay! We're here! *promptly faints*  
James: *to Jed* How did I KNOW that was going to happen? *removes jacket, rolls it into a ball,  
and places it under Jesse's head.* *then he steals Luke's waterbottle*  
Luke: Hey! Fuck you! I'm fuckin' thristy! Don't touch my fuckin' water bottle you fuckin' ho!  
James: *gives some water to Jesse*  
Jesse: *chokes and sputters and spits some water out* Be more careful!  
  
Director: Scene 6, Take 1,264. ACTION!  
James: *huffing* Almost... there...  
Jesse: Yay! We're here! *promptly faints*  
James: *to Jed* How did I KNOW that was going to happen? *removes jacket, rolls it into a ball,  
and places it under Jesse's head.* *then he steals Luke's waterbottle*  
Luke: Hey! Fuck you! I'm fuckin' thristy! Don't touch my fuckin' water bottle you fuckin' ho!  
James: *gives some water to Jesse*  
Jesse: *drinks it, wakes up* Thanks, sexy.  
James: *blushes*  
*some dude with spiky blue hair flies in on a cloud, then falls off and rolls down the hill*  
Dude: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk...!  
  
Director: *groans* Scene 6, Take 3,974. Action.  
James: *huffing* Almost... there...  
Jesse: Yay! We're here! *promptly faints*  
James: *to Jed* How did I KNOW that was going to happen? *removes jacket, rolls it into a ball,  
and places it under Jesse's head.* *then he steals Luke's waterbottle*  
Luke: Hey! Fuck you! I'm fuckin' thristy! Don't touch my fuckin' water bottle you fuckin' ho!  
James: *gives some water to Jesse*  
Jesse: *drinks it, wakes up* Thanks, sexy.  
James: *blushes*  
*some dude with spiky blue hair flies in on a cloud*  
James: *eyes grow wide* HOLY SHIT! Fidj! I can't believe it! *runs over to "Fidj"*  
Jesse: Okay, did I miss something? Who the fuck is this guy!?  
James: This is my brother, Fidj! He's a Saiyan! AND NOW I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED!!!  
Fidj: Whoa. Hang on a sec.  
Director: *sighs* What the FUCK do you want, Fidj?  
Fidj: Why do I have to be from Dragonball Z? That show blows so much ass!  
Director: Deal with it.  
Fidj: But why can't I be from Digimon or Flint the Time Detective or something cool like that?  
Director: Because you suck. Now shut up.  
  
Director: *whispers: Finally!* Okay, Scene 7, Take 1. ACTION!  
ALL OF A SUDDEN: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!  
Mewtwo: You pathetic losers, all happy and triumphant. I shall soon change that!  
Luke: Mewtwo, dude, what the fuck are you doing here?  
Mewtwo: Just that!  
Luke: *blinks* Oh dear.  
Director: Thanks for stating the obvious, dumbfuck, now why don't we just get this over with?  
Mewtwo: Heh. Sorry.  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 18. ACTION!  
ALL OF A SUDDEN: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!  
Mewtwo: You pathetic losers, all happy and triumphant. I shall soon change that!  
Luke: Mewtwo, dude, what the fuck are you doing here?  
Mewtwo: Shut up. That is none of your business. *tries to throw a three-fingered glove away,  
but it sticks to his fingers* Dammit! I told you we should use rubber!  
Director: *sighs* I'll look into that.   
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 59. ACTION!  
ALL OF A SUDDEN: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!  
Mewtwo: You pathetic losers, all happy and triumphant. I shall soon change that!  
Luke: Mewtwo, dude, what the fuck are you doing here?  
Mewtwo: Shut up. That is none of your business. *throws a three-fingered glove into the cave  
behind him*  
Luke: Duuuude... nobody needs to see that... *puts on his shades*  
Jed: Yo, Mewtwo, why do you wanna kill us and shit? *walks toward Mewtwo*  
Mewtwo: *glares, but then the rope that's suspending him in midair snaps and he falls flat on  
his face* OOOooOooOoOooh! There's Uranus!  
Billine: Stop peeking, hentai!  
  
Director: Scene 7, Take 153. ACTION!  
ALL OF A SUDDEN: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!  
Mewtwo: You pathetic losers, all happy and triumphant. I shall soon change that!  
Luke: Mewtwo, dude, what the fuck are you doing here?  
Mewtwo: Shut up. That is none of your business. *throws a three-fingered glove into the cave  
behind him*  
Luke: Duuuude... nobody needs to see that... *puts on his shades*  
Jed: Yo, Mewtwo, why do you wanna kill us and shit? *walks toward Mewtwo*  
Mewtwo: *glares at Jed* You ruined my... uh... time alone.  
Luke: *groans* Duuuuuude!  
Mewtwo: Shut up. Anyway, you will all have the biscuit as I terrorize you with my awesome   
psychic powers!  
Everyone: *sits down*  
Jed: Hey!... where're the biscuits?  
Stage hand: I KNEW I forgot something!  
Director: YOU'RE FIRED!  
  
Director: *sighs* Last one, folks. Scene 8, Take 1. ACTION!  
Luke: Hang on, Mewtwo, do you even have a...  
Mewtwo: OH JUST SHUT UP!... SO NOW!!! I will kill you all for interrupting me!  
Luke: DUDE! He was just having a reunion with his brother! That is fuckin' weak! It ain't our   
fault, you old wanker!   
Mewtwo: *eyes glow red* I AM NOT A WANKER!  
FatDragon: *enters* Hey you motherfuckin' bitches!... man, have I got to take a motherfuckin'  
shit! Be right back!  
  
Director: Scene 8, Take 37. ACTION!   
Luke: Hang on, Mewtwo, do you even have a...  
Mewtwo: OH JUST SHUT UP!... SO NOW!!! I will kill you all for interrupting me!  
Luke: DUDE! He was just having a reunion with his brother! That is fuckin' weak! It ain't our   
fault, you old wanker!   
Mewtwo: *eyes glow red* I AM NOT A WANKER!  
FatDragon: *enters* Hey you motherfuckin' bitches! What's goin' on in the fuckin' hizouse!  
Luke: *rolls eyes* Yup, even more than my grandpa.  
Director: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME! IT'S GRANDMA! Grand-MAAAA! G-R-A-N-D, M-A! NOT P-A! M-A!  
Luke: Righty... got the point...  
  
Director: Scene 8, Take 89. ACTION!   
Luke: Hang on, Mewtwo, do you even have a...  
Mewtwo: OH JUST SHUT UP!... SO NOW!!! I will kill you all for interrupting me!  
Luke: DUDE! He was just having a reunion with his brother! That is fuckin' weak! It ain't our   
fault, you old wanker!   
Mewtwo: *eyes glow red* I AM NOT A WANKER!  
FatDragon: *enters* Hey you motherfuckin' bitches! What's goin' on in the fuckin' hizouse!  
Luke: *rolls eyes* Yup, even more than my grandma. And that's pretty bad.  
FatDragon: Come on you fuckin' bitches! What the fuck's goin' on!  
Everyone: *notices FatDragon's standing right above Mewtwo*  
Billine: Hey, uhm, FatDragon, why don't you take a seat?  
FatDragon: *smiles* Don't fuckin' mind if I fuckin' do, bitch! *sits on Mewtwo. Suddenly,   
thanks to that stupid fucking dragon, a big hole appears on the floor, and he falls down, still  
sitting on Mewtwo*  
Mewtwo: *muffled* Get this fat bitch offa me!  
FatDragon: Fuck, man, I've got to take a motherfuckin' shit!  
Mewtwo: *in muffled yet panicked voice* NONO! PLEASE NO!  
  
Director: Scene 8, Take 146. ACTION!   
Luke: Hang on, Mewtwo, do you even have a...  
Mewtwo: OH JUST SHUT UP!... SO NOW!!! I will kill you all for interrupting me!  
Luke: DUDE! He was just having a reunion with his brother! That is fuckin' weak! It ain't our   
fault, you old wanker!   
Mewtwo: *eyes glow red* I AM NOT A WANKER!  
FatDragon: *enters* Hey you motherfuckin' bitches! What's goin' on in the fuckin' hizouse!  
Luke: *rolls eyes* Yup, even more than my grandma. And that's pretty bad.  
FatDragon: Come on you fuckin' bitches! What the fuck's goin' on!  
Everyone: *notices FatDragon's standing right above Mewtwo*  
Billine: Hey, uhm, FatDragon, why don't you take a seat?  
FatDragon: *smiles* Don't fuckin' mind if I fuckin' do, bitch! *sits on Mewtwo*  
Mewtwo: *squished between the ground and FatDragon's fat ass* HEEEEY! GET OFFA ME!  
FatDragon: *stands up and turns around, looking for the voice*  
Everyone: *sees Mewtwo squashed against FatDragon's ass and they laugh. Hard.*  
Mewtwo: *tries to pop out back to normal, but can't*  
Director: Cut.  
  
-------------------  
  
Director (Moi, hahha): Aren't my actors terrible? Well, I finally got through all this. Most  
of the jokes in here were offensive, stupid, and just plain full of shit.  
Jed: Kind of like FatDragon.  
Billine: Hey, yeah!... What happened there, anyway?  
Jed: Heh heh. I slipped some ex-lax into his morning coffee.  
Director: WHHHAAAAAATTTTT WAAAS THAAAAT!? *chases after Jed with one big fucking pitchfork!*  
Jed: Whaaaaa!  
Billine: Hmm, I wonder why she was so mean to all of us... except James?  
James: Maybe she wouldn't be mean to you if you were her sex slave, too.  
Billine: O.o what!?  
James: Eh heh heh... nothing...  
Director: *yelling in the background* I'm not a lesbian, James!  
James: *yelling back* Don't I know it! *notices the camera's still rolling* Oh, shit! *runs   
off*  
Selene: *walks over and looks in the camera for a sec*... damn I need a smoke.  
  
-------------------  
  
*Later, when everyone's gone*  
Director: OK ^^;;; that was the dumbest thing ever. A lot of those were rushed. But... oh well.  
Jed: ...*in a tiny voice* Uhm... can I go home now?  
Director: Shut the FUCK up, Jed! I created you, now I'm going to destroy you! *evil laugh*  
Jed: AHHH! MOMMY!  
Director: *grins evilly then turns off the camera. Screen goes blank, but she turns the camera  
on again* Oh yeah. If you have questions, comments, or other crap like that, e-mail me at  
stoopid_cooper@hotmail.com Oh yeah, and be expecting a sequel soon!  



End file.
